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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103942">Collecting Your Jar Of Farts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx'>Synnerxx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Slipknot (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Christmas Presents, Comedy, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Farting, Gift Giving, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Married Couple, Toilet humor, fart kink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:14:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Corey has a great idea for Joey's Christmas present from Jim.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joey Jordison/Jim Root</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Collecting Your Jar Of Farts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleep_and_feel_no_pain/gifts">sleep_and_feel_no_pain</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>look. joey's a fart goblin, okay. i don't make the rules. i just write the crack fic. </p><p>for raven. merry christmas, happy brithday, and happy mother's day. i'm sure this is exactly what you wanted for those holidays. /s</p><p>set in our rp 'verse.</p><p>don't @ me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So you’re doing the guitar thing for him, right?” Corey asks, nudging Jim’s leg with his foot. </p><p>“Uh huh. All my sig models in his color preference and made for his size.” Jim pushes his glasses up his nose, glancing at Corey. </p><p>Corey nods. “That’s sweet. I’m sure he’ll like that.”</p><p>“That’s the hope anyway.” Jim chuckles, going back to scrolling on Instagram. </p><p>Corey’s silent for a few minutes before he’s kicking at Jim’s leg again. “You know what else you should get him?”</p><p>Jim doesn’t look up from his phone. “What’s that?”</p><p>“Your farts.” Corey nods confidently. </p><p>This time, Jim looks up at Corey, confused. “Did you just say my farts?”</p><p>Corey nods again, warming up to the idea. “Yeah, you know how much he loves them. Do you even know how many times I caught him on the bus with his head under the curtains to your bunk, just huffing away after you cut the cheese?” </p><p>Jim stares at Corey like he’s grown another head. “How the hell am I supposed to give him my farts? Just fart on him? I already do that.”</p><p>“No, we’ve gotta find a way to contain them. You got a jar?” Corey gets up, heading for the kitchen. </p><p>Jim blinks, still feeling lost on this idea. “Uhm. Maybe in the cabinet on the left side of the sink. Under it. That’s where Joey stashes that kinda shit.”</p><p>Corey digs around in the cabinet and makes a triumphant noise when he comes up with a mason jar and lid. “This is perfect!”</p><p>“What, exactly, am I supposed to do? Fart in the jar and just…..give it to him?” Jim asks, looking like Corey has finally cracked and lost whatever marbles he still had left.</p><p>Corey stands in front of him. “Exactly, you get it. Get up.”</p><p>“Get up?” Jim repeats, still looking completely lost. </p><p>Corey waves the jar in front of Jim’s face. “Yeah, so you can fart into the jar.”</p><p>“Right now?” Jim asks with a slight frown.</p><p>“Yeah, I figure you’ll need help with it. You know, getting the lid on before it all escapes and whatever.” Corey smirks. </p><p>Jim frowns more. “Wait, wait. Who even said I was doing this?” </p><p>“Oh, come on. You wanna make Joey super happy, right? Trust me, the guitars are cool, but he will love this.” Corey reaches out and grabs Jim’s wrist, pulling him to his feet. </p><p>Jim hesitates, looking at the jar in Corey’s hands. “I don’t know about this. This is kinda out there, even for us.”</p><p>Corey rolls his eyes and puts the jar on the coffee table, reaching out and undoing Jim’s jeans. He turns him around, ignoring his protesting “Hey!” and pushes his upper half onto the couch. He yanks Jim’s jeans down his thighs and picks up the jar again, unscrewing the lid, and presses it against Jim’s ass. </p><p>Jim jumps when the cold glass presses against him. “Really, Corey?”</p><p>“Yeah! Now let’er rip!” Corey cackles, holding the jar steady. </p><p>Jim braces himself against the couch cushion, feeling incredibly awkward with his ass in the air and Corey holding a jar against it. His face burns in embarrassment, but he can’t argue the fact that Joey would probably go nuts over a gift like this. He shifts a bit and pushes, a rumbling whomper of a fart escaping him. </p><p>Corey cheers behind him. “That’s it! Give me a few more of those!”</p><p>Jim wonders how his life led to his moment and remembers that he did, in fact, marry a Certified Fart Goblin and knew what he was getting into. He sighs and farts again, a high pitched squeaker this time. </p><p>“Come on, I know you can do better than that.” Corey coaxes him. </p><p>Jim farts again, longer and deeper, pushing it out. Another fart follows it, making a ptttttbbbb of a noise as it leaves his ass. </p><p>Corey cracks up laughing behind him, trying to hold the jar steady. “Any more for it?”</p><p>Jim pushes again, the deepest and loudest fart yet leaving his body, going on for a solid ten seconds. </p><p>Corey howls with laughter again. “That oughta do it!” He quickly pulls the jar away and caps it, twisting it tight. </p><p>Jim straightens back up and fixes his pants, turning around to look at Corey. “Did we really just do that?”</p><p>Corey grins, handing him the jar. “Yep. And now Joey has a jar of farts for his sniffing pleasure.”</p><p>Jim takes the jar, looking down at it. “Thanks. I think.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it.” Corey laughs again, heading for the door. “Decorate it and tell me how much Joey likes it. Fuckin’ fart smeller.”</p><p>Jim flicks a wave as Corey leaves the house and puts the jar on the coffee table. He digs out some ribbon, a gift bag, and some tissue paper. He sets about fixing up the jar for Joey and making the bag presentable for him. </p><p>Just as he’s putting the finishing touches on the tissue paper, Joey comes through the door with a bag of groceries. “Hey, babe.”</p><p>Jim looks up, startled, looking around quickly for a place to hide the bag, but he’s not fast enough. Joey’s eyes zero in on it as he goes into the kitchen, putting the bag on the counter. “What’s that?”</p><p>“Uh, you know, it’s a gift.” Jim shuffles a little. </p><p>“I see that. Who’s it for?” Joey looks gleeful. </p><p>Jim sighs, knowing Joey’s gonna get it now that he’s seen it. “For you. Do you want it now?”</p><p>“Yes!” Joey hurries and puts away the cold stuff from the store and comes back into the living room, grinning like an excited little boy. “Gimme!”</p><p>Jim hands over the bag when Joey sits down on the couch and watches him toss the tissue paper onto the floor, chuckling at his excitement. </p><p>Joey pulls the jar out of the bag and reads the gift tag Jim had stuck on it. “Farts For Joey.” He gasps. “Jamie, did you bottle your farts for me?!” He looks so excited and thrilled and tears sparkle in the corners of his eyes, so touched. </p><p>Jim nods. “Yeah. It was Corey’s idea.” </p><p>Joey unscrews the lid and presses his face into the jar, smelling noisily. “Ohhhh fuck, Jamie.” He keeps smelling and smelling, nearly huffing into the jar. The pungent smell wafts up to him, making him moan, the sound echoing into the jar. He sniffs until there’s nothing left to sniff and lowers the jar. “Fuck, that’s amazing. Love your farts.”</p><p>Jim smiles, pleased that Joey likes the gift. “Yeah? It’s not too weird?”</p><p>“Nooooo, it’s perfect. You’re perfect, Jamie.” Joey gives him an adoring look, a few stray tears streaking his cheeks as he cradles the jar against his chest lovingly. </p><p>Jim blushes brightly. “I’m definitely not. And this was Corey’s idea anyway.”</p><p>“You still did it for me. Even put it in a nice little bag too. Made it all special for me.” Joey smiles at Jim happily, carefully putting the jar on the coffee table, giving it a little pat of affection. “Now come here. Let me show you how much I love you.” </p><p>Jim sits down next to Joey and makes a surprised noise when Joey pulls him into a deep kiss. He curls his fingers in Joey’s hair, moaning as Joey pushes him back onto the couch. They press together, rocking their hips into one another as arousal burns through their veins. </p><p>Joey breaks the kiss, pulling back and sitting up enough to unbutton Jim’s plaid shirt, hands sliding over every inch of revealed skin. His fingers tweak and pinch Jim’s nipples, trailing kisses down over his jawline and onto his neck. Jim’s hands slide over his back and tug at his shirt and he shifts, letting Jim pull it off of him and drop it to the floor. </p><p>He undoes Jim’s jeans, yanking on them as he works them down and off Jim’s endlessly long legs. He works his way out of his own jeans as well, settling back on top of Jim with a moan, kissing him again. </p><p>Jim feels around in the couch as they kiss, fingers closing on the lube they keep stashed there and hands it off to Joey. </p><p>Joey pulls back with a smirk as he takes the lube. “Eager, aren’t you?”</p><p>“For you? Always.” Jim pants, spreading his legs for Joey as Joey makes a show of slicking up his fingers. </p><p>Joey hums his appreciation. “You still stretched for me? Let’s find out.” He pushes two fingers inside of Jim, stroking them over his sweet spot immediately, finding him still stretched from their last session before he left for the store. “Mmm, you’re still ready.”</p><p>Jim pushes his head back into the cushion and moans, cock twitching hard against his belly as Joey works him open for his cock. “Please, want you, please….”</p><p>Joey groans as Jim’s needy tone goes straight to his cock, making it throb. He nods, pulling his fingers out Jim. He slicks more lube on his cock, standing on his knees between Jim’s parted thighs, looking down at him. “This what you want, Jamie?”<br/>
Jim whimpers, reaching for Joey, desperate now. “Need you, please…..”</p><p>Joey purrs and settles back down over him, reaching down to guide his cock to Jim’s entrance, rubbing the head against him to amp them both up more. Jim gasps and grinds down onto Joey’s cock, crying out as Joey pushes forward with his hips in the same movement, sinking inside of him. </p><p>Joey stills, panting, giving Jim a moment to adjust as Jim’s muscles clench around him, making his cock twitch deep inside of him. “Fuck, you feel so good, Jamie….”</p><p>They move together, Jim following the deep, slow pace that Joey sets, digging his nails into Joey’s shoulders as he clings to him, wrapping his legs around him. He whimpers and moans as Joey presses deeper inside of him, arching into him as his cock pulses between their bodies. </p><p>The pleasure washes over both of them in white-hot waves, dragging them under as they rock and grind against one another. All too soon, Jim is tensing, breath hitching and catching in his throat as the pleasure gets overwhelmingly intense. His orgasm crashes over him, making him come hard, slicking their skin with his release. Joey cries out, burying his face in Jim’s neck as his orgasm hits him in the same instant as Jim’s. He pushes deep inside of Jim, spilling himself inside of him. </p><p>They shudder and writhe with the aftershocks before slowly sinking into the couch, the afterglow drifting over them in a golden haze. Joey stays inside of Jim, shifting just enough to clean them up and pull the blanket from the back of the couch down over them. “Wanna sleep inside you….”</p><p>Jim hums his agreement, sleepy and sated. </p><p>Joey strokes his fingers through Jim’s hair. “I love you to the edge of the universe and back again a trillion times.” </p><p>“I love you too. I take it the early Christmas gift was a hit?” Jim opens his eyes and gives Joey a sleepy smile. </p><p>“I love it sooooo much. You have no idea. You’re gonna refill it for me, aren’t you?” Joey asks eagerly. </p><p>“Mmhm. Unlimited refills for life.” Jim chuckles. </p><p>Joey squeaks in happiness and kisses Jim. “You’re the most perfect, Dandelion.” </p><p>“I’m not. I just want you to be as happy as I can make you.” Jim closes his eyes again, purring as Joey pets his hair. </p><p>“You do. You are. Good night, Jamie.” Joey starts humming Jim’s lullaby to him, smiling as Jim starts snoring softly after a minute. </p><p>He watches Jim sleep, still humming until he’s sure Jim is in a deeper sleep, and then lets himself drift off as well, happy and so in love.</p>
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